“What am I doing wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she whispered.
“That’s the hardest part,” I thought.
I’ll be honest, there were days I hated being a patient. Tell me what exercises to do and I’d do them. Probably, I would do double of the assigned set with the hopes of getting better faster. But, it doesn’t work that way. I hate saying I can’t but the fact is I can’t cure myself – even while living a disciplined lifestyle. I used to hate that. I used to fight that. Hoping if I just tried harder it would produce the desired results. We live in a “you can do it” society. You can become anything you want to be – do anything you want to do. We mistake options as freedom. It’s a consumerism mentality, devoid of reality. “"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought,” JPII proclaimed. By his life, he taught me what we ought to do when faced with adversity and suffering.
“The Pope was an active patient, determined to understand what was happening to him and to have a say in his care…”What did the Sanhedrin say today? What did the Sanhedrin decide on my behalf?’ He was joking but the joke had an edge on it. Part of the struggle of an illness he once told his doctors was that a patient had to fight to become the “subject of his illness” instead of simply remaining the ‘object of treatment’. The dignity of the human person was not surrendered at the hospital door.” (Witness to Hope, 415).
JPII has taught me to be an informed patient for my own case. He taught me to refuse to surrender my dignity by becoming an ‘object of treatment.’ He showed, by his example, how to suffer boldly proclaiming joy and abundance through Mary. He is teaching me total surrender.
What is dignity? Where do you find your dignity – in your education, career, finances, success, humor, looks, relationships, vocation, or maybe even noble project? No matter how well intended, it’s partial to place our dignity in any good gift bestowed on us. As JPII laid in the hospital bed, he lived out his authentic dignity recognizing that he himself was a gift for others made in the image and likeness of God. It was through his silent presence as he endured the toll Parkinson’s took on his body that we witnessed strength that resounded in sound. It was from the hospital bed, which he forgave his would be assassin, we learned the value in bestowing God’s mercy, which we have received, on others. He walked the walk, even when his feet started to give way. The mystery of redemptive suffering is beyond my scope to write about, as of now. However, I believe it is a gift to enter into and share in His cross. As JPII’s life attests there is a freedom that comes in resting in and claiming one’s dignity, for it is here and here alone that we can live as we ought and as Truth, love and Mercy Himself, says we are - children of the one true King, called to Great holiness., no matter the circumstances.
SAINT John Paul the GREAT, pray for us.
Totuus tuus verso l’alto,
Kathryn Grace
And We Will LIVESTRONG
I’ll help you carry on
