Sunday, November 23, 2014

Star Studded

“Well, what do I do if I’m not answering emails or working or watching TV,” she asked. “No screens after 8 pm” is her new resolution. It reminds me of camping. The sun goes down and your options become limited in one sense and yet in another a new world of possibility opens itself that you don’t experience on a regular basis- star-gazing and bonfires, singing and smores to name a few. Taking advantage of the lack of plans and limited traveling ability due to nightfall, one can appreciate a diamond-studded sky. The stars are always there but because you’ve come out of your familiar location and the city lights are a far dim, now can see with greater clarity.

The great spiritual writers often speak of the desert – the physical and spiritual seasons of a seeming abyss, which stretch one’s trust in the provisions and Providence of God. Like the first time one goes camping or turns off the screen there is the obvious question that springs forth: “what do I do?” Over time and with a good guide, one comes to see and know the beauty of the seeming limitations of the wilderness, especially at night, is a mere cloak as it is really a gateway to the planetarium filled with starts of wonder.

Let us find joy in the stillness of the desert.

Verso l’alto,
KGRC


I want to feel, sunlight on my face
I see that dust cloud disappear without a trace I want to take shelter from the poison rain Where the streets have no name


I know that I don’t walk these streets alone
Your city lights are guiding me home


Through the fields and deserts they came
Messiah was worth every mile
Star of wonder, star of light
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to thy perfect light

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Dancing with Daddy

He stood on the outskirt with his sleepy four-year-old daughter in his arms. Her party dress was slightly crinkled. The bow was slipping down her head as her forehead was mopped with sweat, slicking her bangs down. She rested against his chest. A good day was complete. Though the other adults were just getting the party started, he swayed his partied out little girl to the music while holding her gently and strongly simultaneously. It was the essence of fatherhood and childhood. He held her; she rested.

There comes a time when you realize the man you’re going to love (and already do – even if you just haven’t met him yet) is going to love you and how he loves you is how he will love your children. You recognize the qualities you most likely will not catch at the bar nor do you stop at how well he can hit a jump shot (though it sure does grab one’s attention). It’s something we may not see by first impression and yet it’s the greatest gift you will give to one another – the gift of becoming parents – and the gift of your spouse to your children.

It’s an amazing reality to be privileged to become co-creators with Christ and it’s a tension to recognize the need to remain the Father’s children while simultaneously participating in the gift of parenthood (whether spiritual or physical).
I don’t know all the particulars of how to live this seemingly dichotomous reality. Yet, I imagine it’s like a dance – following and falling in love with the beat of the music.

Verso l’alto,
K. Grace


My personal favorite for dancing with Dad!
I won’t be afraid just as long as you stand by me

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Boxing with Grace: The Coach's Corner

In some ways, it was an unexpected gift; in others, it was only a matter of time. I fell in love with heavybag boxing. Friday nights were reserved for the gym. It was the perfect combination of grace and strength and not just because I thought pearl earrings and boxing gloves were a necessary combination (not sure why the fashion magazines haven’t picked up on this one). There is an art to fighting. It is a delicate, powerful balance – one of strength and agility, finesse and power.  Muhammad Ali is famously quoted as saying “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. The hands can't hit what the eyes can't see.” There is a compendium of analogies, which can come from this seemingly simple quote and from my time in the proverbial ring. Today, I’d like to focus on the coaches’ corner.

“You’re a fighter, Coop. I’m asking you to fight.” He pled with tears streaming down his face. I had just thrown in the towel. I had announced I was leaving camp as it seemed as though it was no longer medically an option to work at camp. He was distraught; I was heartbroken. Years of hard work and sacrifice seemingly slipping down the drain. Hopes and aspirations plummeting like a balloon whose air has been let go. There were tears and pleas summarized by the frequent repetition, “it’s just not fair.” He gathered his breath and barely raised his eyes: “Please, fight,” he asked. “I’ll always be in your corner.”

When he asked me to fight, in part it was to convince me to reconsider giving up on a dream, which I was and still am passionate about. It wasn’t about figuring out how to work from NY for a job that was in NH (even though I did that). It was about hope. It was about fighting to be healthy. It was about struggling and striving to overcome difficult news from the doctors and to accept healthy even when it seemed like a plush notion that wasn’t going to be mine.

We pick who we let into our corner. We don’t decide who stays but we pick who we place there. We pick whom, in the intimate moments of our lives, we ask to coach and guide us to fight the good fight when we’d rather surrender. I’ve come to learn leaving camp wasn’t throwing in the towel. It was accepting the gift of now that God has in store for me in realities and ways I never would have imagined. Over the past few years I’ve changed coaches. I thought I knew whom I wanted in my corner. Turns out I had chosen people who couldn’t endure the fight I was being asked to fight. That’s okay.  By some seasons and reasons we come to recognize the mistakes we’ve made and by the grace of God, we grow past them and through them. As a wiser me looks at a younger me, I smile.  “You didn’t know what you didn’t know”.  A coach is one of the most important roles we will pick. Let us choose wisely.

Who’s in your corner? Make sure it’s someone whose got your back.

Verso l’alto,
KGRC



Baby the sun will rise
Baby the sun will rise
However long the night

No man is an island, we can be found
No man is an island, let your guard down
Please don't try to fight me, I am for you
We're not meant to live this life alone