Beautiful Mess

One of the benefits of Anatomy 101 (I mean being a PT patient for a few years) is that you learn it’s all connected. The other day at yoga the instructor asked if my hamstrings were tight. I refrained from verbalizing the sarcastic reply, which insinuated my belief that if we still lived in the time and age of printed encyclopedias my picture would be sitting pretty next to tight hamstrings

Nonetheless, a few days later I was doing this meditative yoga, which infuriates the hell out of me because you seemingly do nothing and yet the effects are unreal. In the midst of it, I recognized I had a knot in my low back that could support the weight of the globe on the shoulders of Atlas. No wonder my hamstrings were tight.

“Every effect has a cause,” my own words from class the other day echoed back to me. Though I can trace tight hamstrings to poor posture while reading and sitting too much, I realize it’s harder to ask and understand the question which holds the cause of suffering as it pertains to good people.

I’m not going to attempt a treaty on this question, as the discourse that has been written is vast. Rather, the past few days I’ve seen the “cause and effect” of my own personal suffering in light of Love. As the God of life and love leads me through suffering, He walks with me and shepherds me with gratuitous love. I’ve seen the causes of other’s actions and uncontrollable circumstances open up and effect a new reality within and for me. Like Job, I can’t say I’ve liked the way God has communicated His love at times nor can I say I understand it, but I trust that even in the midst of suffering the Lord’s cause is always His steadfast love and the effects, when we cooperate, can transform a seeming mess into a beautiful one.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord - Job 1: 21

Verso l’alto,

K. Grace

Find a place that we find rest in this beautiful mess

You made us beautiful despite all our mess

We are created for holiness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yio1zL5sG6c&list=UUQJy1tzAzV7BsSlzChSwK3g&index=12   (Starts at 2:35)

What you don’t have you don’t need it now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o

Blessed are you

You are good to me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKosVfAEUPE

My heart will choose to say

Blessed be Your name

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qp11X6LKYY

You can focus on what you’ve been through or what you’ve come through.

Seasons of Change

Change is a constant of life. There are times we seek it and others when it “just happens,” like the cool wind of Fall sweeping over the summer haze. It can be a good thing and it certainly can be uncomfortable. Like the new skin that grows underneath a scab, change can push us outside our comfort zone making us want to scratch the itch of it not feeling totally right.

I’m a routine person. It’s a family thing – early to bed, early to rise. I’m nicer when I follow a schedule (What’s up, understatement!).  So when the schedule changes it’s slightly (eerrr…exponentially) frustrating waiting to find the new routine. As we glide into fall there are moments when it feels appropriate to be sipping coffee all cuddled up on the couch and there are other moments that have me running for the beach. In the midst of the change of seasons, it is an opportunity to see where we have come from and where we are going is only linked by where we are. Seasons of change bring up lots of “what should I be doing” moments. For me, the recent season of change has me asking the practical - when should I pray? How should I pray? When can I socialize? What’s my work schedule? And the ever-important questions: when can I play and when can I work out?

As these practical questions come to mind (and yes, they are important), I am encouraged first to answer “who am I to become?” From this flows what should I do, when should I do it, and how the daily “it’s” should be done? With peace, joy, and love I am called to be me - the best, unique and unrepeatable version of me. As God created me in His image and likeness I am called, by name, into His heart of mercy to be refined and strengthened by His love. I am called to more firmly hear His Truth: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” I am called through the season of change to recognize we are constantly called to becoming more authentically ourselves. We are constantly called to greater freedom throughout life, which is itself a season of change from life to Life. Let us hold fast to what is unchanging in our lives, the inestimable and steadfast love of God, through any and all seasons of change.

Verso l’alto,

Kathryn Grace

“Laid down in grief/But woke with the keys/ To hell on that day/ First born of the slain/ The man Jesus Christ laid/ Death in his grave.” *This is what's on repeat these days*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNEruHID6-k#t=74

Whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine …

Who can say if I have been changed for the better? But because I knew You, I have been changed for Good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzrGFQysfYU

One thing remains

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_KXsMCJgBQ

“By day the Lord commands His steadfast love; and at night His song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.” Psalm 42:8

“It is what is unchanging in our lives that helps us make sense of change.” Matthew Kelly 

Dare You to Wonder

He peered over the rims of his glasses. It was an action unbecoming of his age as his raspy voice and mannerisms had me swear he was an old man in a little boy’s body. Then in an Irish whisper that could rival my grandmother’s he said, “I’ll tell you after Mass.” The smile unfolded upwards and met the twinkle in his eyes. He was flirting over the pew. His comment was laced with innocence and wonder. He awaited with baited breathe as the seven year old girl finally smiled her affirmation. It’s one of the many reasons why I love working with seven year olds: they wonder.

So often we are on the five year road map or climbing the proverbial ladder that we miss out on wonder. We miss the gift of today. Wonder illuminated our childhood like the fireflies that lit a summer night. In the midst of darkness, there was an unpredictable predictable spark. And yet, aren’t we called to still wonder? Aren’t we called with child like trust to see the hand of God in all circumstances? Aren’t we called to reverence with a spirit of aw and wonder?

We can sit in darkness and wonder when or how is God going to answer our prayers. We can sit in silence or anger or frustration wanting, hoping, waiting for the seemingly unfulfilled promises of the Lord. Maybe life’s been unfair. Maybe circumstances have happened that have you questioning the light. Darkness has become so familiar that you wonder if you should even wonder if there’s a breakthrough coming. Maybe God’s gifts are currently coming through trial. Don’t despair. The God who created you and loves you and holds you in existence longs to whisper His plans of goodness to you. He desires for your heart to be made anew and to light your path, even if it’s just one step at a time.

So often we think of wonder as anxious worrying, wondering what if it doesn’t work. Sometimes it’s easier to just put up another life plan for submission and to hop on the road with narrow vision and seemingly little road blocks because at least it affords us the feeling of control. But when compared with the unpredictable unfolding of God’s generous Providence, it pales in comparison. Intellectually it is one thing. To live this reality is another. It might be scary to wonder but it’s equally exciting. Let us let go of our tightly clinched fists and our plans and our ways and let us wonder with childlike trust.

I dare you to wonder.

Verso l’alto,

K. Grace

You are not alone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXIXmQadwXw

Are these just some words that I say aloud?
Is this just the sun breaking through the clouds?
Oh, I know it's more and I know somehow that
Heaven is breaking through

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN30iznc-Ww

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2VCwBzGdPM

Like a diamond in the sky
How I wonder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEGV9H0aZaQ

Built to Last

No this isn’t an advertisement for Ford!

When I think about Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, I talk a lot about climbing to the HeightS! I’m a dreamer and a fighter; it’s natural. It’s alluring and captivating to transcend and to climb onward and upward as our siblings in faith who have gone before us cast a view of the landscape. Those who have gone before us paint the image of a life well lived and naturally we too want join them to see the grandeur of God and to hear His voice in the intimate, personal whisper which the saints heard the Word speak. That being said, these thoughts are often based upon a rather large assumption, which bears some reflection.  

In order to ascend, we must be walking on Solid Rock. Now, saying Pier Giorgio’s foundation was solid does not mitigate or downplay the reality that there were times and circumstances in his life that were treacherous or rocky. Rather, it highlights that as he climbed the Alps as a mountaineer and spiritually as a pilgrim he did so by placing one foot in front of the other, by attending to each small ascent that came his way. He built virtue and character by his daily habits, his receptive disposition to prayer and the sacraments, and his filial devotion to Mary. He staked his footing on solid ground.

Life according to the Spirit, whose fruit is holiness (cf. Rom 6:22; Gal 5:22), stirs up every baptized person and requires each to follow and imitate Jesus Christ in embracing the beatitudes; in listening and meditating on the Word of God; in conscious and active participation in the liturgical and sacramental life of the Church; in personal prayer; in family or in community; in hunger and thirst for justice; in the practice of the commandment of love in all circumstances of life and service to the brethren, especially the least, the poor and the suffering.

The Fathers of the Church use the word fillocalia- that is, love for divine beauty which radiates from divine love – to describe the spiritual journey toward purity under the guidance of the Holy Spirit in the hopes of daily becoming people who live “in the image of Christ”. Pier Giorgio was one of those who daily worked to become better conformed to the image of Christ.  (An Ordinary Christian, 64)

What’s your foundation? Where do you place your footing?  Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, pray that we may allow Christ to be our cornerstone, the bedrock and the foundation, which is built to last.

Verso l’alto,

Kathryn Grace

You are the solid rock we are built upon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjX7c4sx8Pg

I’ve been out there searching for a place where I belong and on my way I heard my song. Let it sing me home!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmj9xIMF9Pc

Love’s the Only House

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzM_lxnzi64

Slippery Slope

We were walking down the mountain and I fell. Slightly dehydrated, definitely undernourished, and eight-miles in were some of the conditions that lead to the blood trickling from the palm of my hand. However, in reality, it was the slippery slope that caused the fall. It’s not as though I was arrogantly frolicking, ignoring the warning signs. No, like any good slippery slope it just kind of happened. One foot in front of another and all of a sudden you realize you’ve lost your footing and are no longer standing on solid ground. In fact, you are no longer standing at all. 

If you’ve ever slipped up you know it can be jarring. It can prohibit your confident steps forward causing you to second guess as you tentatively search for the strength of step you used to have. The good thing about falling is that it teaches us not only how to get back up but also how to identify the situations and conditions which cause us to fall. How apropos can this be to our spiritual lives? When we are taking steps towards breaking an addiction or a negative thought pattern or a habitual sin, it is once we recognize where the beginning of the slippery slope is that leads us astray that we can adjust our footing and find an alternate path. What causes you to fall?

No matter what has tripped us up in the past or presently, it’s important to remember that nothing is outside of the mercy of God. Let us confess our weakness and rely more firmly on His strength. Let us walk confidently and humbly with our God trusting He never leaves. Bl. Pier Giorgio pray that we may always have a greater trust in His mercy than our weakness. May we journey onward and upward while straying from any slippery slope.

Verso l’alto,

Kathryn Grace

because we are not alone in the dark with our demons
and we have made mistakes
but we've learned from them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czFgKa7YcIQ

But I keep cruising

Can’t stop, won’t stop moving

It’s like I got this music in my mind

Saying it’s gonna be alright

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlGMsAHoCzE

Even the winter won't last forever...
We'll see the morning, we'll feel the sun
We'll wake up in April, ready & able
Sowing the seeds in the soil
of love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VHHDWc-SzE

Verso L'alto

Verso l’alto!

We started the steep ascent quickly, which brought on slightly labored breathing and the friendly reminder I was outta shape. We were supposed to be hiking. We were climbing quickly. I knew there was going to be some scrambling involved. I didn’t realize exactly what that meant. As I pinched my two feet together in a foot hold, I reached to the right and then to the left hoping to decipher which angle was going to give me the best leverage in order to continue the climb. There was a point where my feet nestled in between two rocks, I leaned into the rock face and reached straight up. As I was praying I also recognized “If this goes wrong, I’m screwed.” It wasn’t exactly the rock climbing gym.

The crazy thing though is that as dramatic as that sounds and as dramatic as the climb looks, it actually was exhilarating. It wasn’t a moment of fear but rather focus. “Failure” wasn’t an option. What happens when you’re on the ledge?

Looking at the iconic picture of Pier Giorgio you see an athletic young man climbing to the heights, daring greatly and reaching boldly. However, I would say its fair to guess that as he was in the midst of his climb, he recognized there was nothing more important than the next right thing. It wasn’t about how far he had come nor was it about how far he had to go. Simply, he seemed to understand the simple genius that many of the saints lived. As we ascend toward the heights of Heaven, the only way to get there is one foot in front of the other, trusting Providence to show us the way.

Pier Giorgio, intercede before the Blessed Mother that we may know the joy of climbing towards Heaven while recognizing the blessings of today.  Help us to see the beautiful gifts unfold that as we climb closer to Christ we can come to recognize and know there is so much more that we don’t understand. Let us see this as it is: a beautiful invitation to Climb On.

Verso l’alto,

Coop

That’s how a superhero learns to fly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y7ygEDRpSo

You’ll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove you taste what you’re made of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Vzpjv_kR4

I’ve learned the path to heaven is full of sinners and believers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtPcPEUBp-w

Draw me a little closer, take me a little deeper, I wanna know your heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTUWO636_-c

My Best Friends' Wedding

If you’ve ever gone to or prepared for your best friend’s wedding, you know it is a gift. Memories flash across in the midst of the ceremony. It’s beautiful to witness the current reality; however, it’s a gift to see it in light of the events that lead each to the alter. You know the inside jokes, the almost breakups, and the heroic and selfless decisions to love amidst confusion, chaos, and daily living. You know the special smile that comes when one thinks of the other, the voice inflection and the twinkle in one’s eye when sharing a story recounting the personal love of one’s lover and friend. It is a gift to see the transformation love brings about. Both the transformation that comes from falling in love and from choosing to continue to love is as beautiful as the poets describe.

A best friend’s wedding is a joyous celebration so heading to the Basilica for six of my best friends’ wedding was momentous. If you’ve never been to the profession of religious vows, do it. The joyful witness of self sacrificing love made often times by young, courageous, talented, men and women is inspiring. They sacrifice the goods of this world for the sake of the kingdom. They answer the call to be laborers in the vineyard. They exemplify radical love which defeats the secular cultures’ anthem to only give in accordance to what one will get back, to give some of oneself but not all. Rather, withdrawing from the illusory demands of keeping up with the Jones’, they lay down their lives (literally as they prostrate themselves on the cathedral floor), all of themselves. They sacrifice their present and their future and they submit their past, whatever it entails, to the mercy of God. They offer their hearts, gifts, and talents to their community and our Church. To say I am in awe of these women is an understatement. They lay down their lives so others might live. Not just for the sake of the unborn and marginalized but for all. They lay down so that we may each may hear the resounding and splendid Truth that we are called to live Life in abundance and that we are each uniquely and passionately loved by our Lord.

So like any best friend’s wedding there is the beauty of the service and the inspiration of the event, which draws forth the heart. And yet when it’s your best friend’s wedding you see the universal gift of the vocation with a particular love for the specific individual, which results in the only proper response

​ - ​

to say a little prayer for you.

May we imitate their selfless abandon and may we trust God’s P​rovidence that He allows us to respond as He calls because it is He that first loved us. Let us trust His plans are good (Jer. 29:11), all works for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28), and that He desires us to abide in His love so that our joy may be complete. For whatever we give to Him is returned one hundred fold. Let us be cheerful givers trusting the will of God never leads us outside the grace of God. John Cardinal O'Connor, pray for us! 

Discernment can be something we want to put off, tending to think of all that we'd give up. The Lord gives and He gives. Discernment can be the greatest gift no matter the "outcome." The gifts of discerning religious life, because thats an invitation God offered to me years ago, resulted in friends around the world and Sisters in every essence of the word. 

Is He Calling you? Call a vocations director. It might just help you find what you're looking for. 

Verso l’alto,

Kathryn Grace

I say a little prayer for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IlzGRBnino

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_ISAntOom0

“And nothing again would be casual or small, but everything with Light invested.”

*from the Sister’s medals and a poem on the Annunciation as the Incarnation changes everything.*